When The Holidays Are Hard

The Christmas season often feels like it should be joyful and cozy.

Times of family conversations around the fireplace, laughing children running around, and a peace that fills the soul. An awareness that God is good and so are his gifts. If your holidays are full of this, cherish them. It is a glimpse of heaven.

What do you do though when your holidays are not glimpses of heaven? When the family conversations are awkward and tense, or maybe there is no family around at all? When laughter is not the background noise to the holiday dinner, but tears and fights are? When what fills your soul is not peace, but rather bitterness, pain, and loneliness?

How does God meet us in this mix of holiday suffering? 

Jesus and Tears

Hebrews 4:15-16 says - “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” 

This means that Jesus is not too high and lofty to understand what you are going through. This is meant to give us confidence that we can draw near to God at our lowest, even at our most sinful. And what are we met with? Mercy and grace. Can your heart comprehend that? That in the depth of your pain, what Jesus is most longing to communicate to you is mercy and grace. Simply put, He cares for you. He sees you. You are not forgotten by God.

Jesus faced loss too

Gerald Sittser, a professor of theology, wrote a book called A Grace Disguised. In it he reflects on the car crash that killed most of his family and God’s presence amidst it.

The sovereign God came in Jesus Christ to suffer with us and to suffer for us. He descended deeper into the pit than we will ever know. His sovereignty did not protect him from loss. If anything, it led him to suffer loss for our sake. God is therefore not simply some distant being who controls the world by a mysterious power. God came all the way to us and lived among us… The God I know has experienced pain and therefore understands my pain. In Jesus I have felt God’s tears, trembled before his death on the cross, and witnessed the redemptive power of his suffering. The Incarnation means that God cares so much that he chose to become human and suffer loss, though he never had to.

Gerlad Lawson Sittser, A GRACE DISGUISED: How The Soul Grows Through Loss, Expanded ED. (Grand Rapids, MICH.: ZONDERVAN, ©2004), 157-158.

In a very personal way, God has chosen to feel all that we would feel on this earth in Jesus. What amazing love. The desire to not only understand what we go through, but willingly experience it himself so as to help comfort us. What love Jesus shows us. In God we truly have a comforter for every wound.

Your pain this holiday is not unseen by the Lord. Feel what you must feel. Cry the holiday tears. For now we have these promises to remind us we are not alone, but one day we will hear:

A loud voice from the throne saying: “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.” And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Revelation 21:3-5

Until that day, do not forget that He is aware. You are not alone. He is putting things in motion to show His care for you. And all of this is for sinners, whom He loves. 

Thankful for hope,

Josh.